But I'm trying can't you tell
I'm smiling now and there are seconds
Where my mind is free from this weight
That you have given me so kindly

Then those moments of happiness
Flash into my messed up head
And I begin choking on our smiles together
Cause I believed this was real

Would you believe I'm pretending?
Cause I am learning to hide the truth really well
But I am still not breathing the way I did with you
Cause I'm hurting inside so bad

But I have never been here before
So maybe this is how it has to be
Cause you have taken a piece of my strength
And it weakens my every thought of me on my own

I'm anticipating every day to end
Until you are not breaking me into more pieces
Cause right now I can't pull myself together
Only sleep relives me from this nightmare

And I've fallen more times than I can count
For you and by you as you let go
But I continue swallowing the pain
Cause I see you are okay--and I hate you for that!

I will just wipe these tears away to forget they were here
Turn up the music to drown out the screaming
And keep hoping that I can get away
From all this shit I can't get over

Trying to erase you from my life
But it's so impossible cause I can't let go
And I'm left to wonder
So I invite you to worsen my pain once again

You've left me behind so lost
Without any closure so I'm still sinking
But I've promised myself that today I'll fly
And you're not worth my tears